


Light The Way

by Imshitatusernames



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Addressing Spencer Reids addiction, Bisexual Spencer Reid, F/M, He's gonna be a dad because I need more dad spencer content, He's using sex to cope, I'm just gonna say it here, I've never written him before, M/M, please tell me if I did his characterization dirty, the team will be in future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23663137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imshitatusernames/pseuds/Imshitatusernames
Summary: Spencer gets big news about a previous one night stand of his, leaving him with a decision to make. Dealing with his fears and insecurities about it while maintaining his sobriety is not an easy feat but he is none the less determined.“There’s always a 38% chance during sex that a condom will break, even when someone is also on alternate methods of birth control as well there is never a 100% guarantee that it works. Even more so for us since we did go get drinks beforehand and studies show that inebriated people forget to use protection entirely more often than sober people. And when they do use protection there’s more of a chance for it to go wrong and not work properly -”
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	Light The Way

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written criminal minds works before so please leave comments on how you think I could improve, also the format may be v weird because its 3AM and I do not care right now.

The first thing that Spencer took note of as he woke up was his pounding headache and dry mouth. Second thing he noticed was the arm wrapped around his stomach and the line of heat at his back. His eyes shot open and his heart quickened when he saw a blue wall, one that was certainly not in his apartment. He jerked out of the hold of the person behind him and stood up quickly, only to be met with a wave of dizziness that caused him to screw his eyes shut and breathe through his mouth so as to not throw up. Once he was sure the urge was gone, he opened his eyes to look at where exactly he was and more importantly, who he was with. Looking at the bed he found there to be a black haired man spread holding a pillow to replace the spot where Spencer just was. 

Memories came rushing back to him. Memories of shaking on the floor in his apartment trying to starve off the cravings for dilaudid, of nails digging into his skin so he wouldn’t go out to find the dealer five blocks over. He wanted so badly to relapse, to give up six months of hard work and NA meetings to numb his brain. As he was pulling out his phone with shaking hands to text his sponsor John, he got a notification from Tinder from one Jaden Echolls that had some form of pick up line but more importantly, his address and a tempting offer. Spencer’s bit his lip in contemplation, but his hands were finally steadying a little as he texted back that he would be there. Fifteen minutes later and he’s knocking on an apartment door, being pulled in and pushed against the wall. All the memories after that were of lips, heat and finally, finally the bliss of having his brain turned off for a while. 

Spencer got pulled back into the present by a car honking in the street. He quickly and quietly pulled on his clothes and grabbed his shoes to sneak out of the apartment. Once he shut the door to the mans apartment he pulled his shoes while muttering that this was the last time for a fucking hook up. He took the subway home and tried to ignore the thoughts screaming that everyone knew he was on a walk of shame by his appearance. He knows he’s using sex to avoid the drugs but he needs something to turn off his brain, something to make the shakes stop. As he walked up to his apartment he paused, noticing someone sitting cross-legged by his door. 

“Clara?” He asked, vaguely remembering the redheaded girl. Clara’s head shot up and she got up off the ground.  
“Spencer? I knocked on the door but you didn’t answer so I figured I’d wait a little to see if I could catch you. I was hoping we could talk.”  
“Yeah, um no problem, come inside for some coffee” he said as he unlocked the door and led her into the apartment. 

Spencer went to go start the coffee machine, leaving Clara to set her purse down on the kitchen counter and take a seat at one of the stools by the kitchen island. Spencer fumbled with the coffee cups and was going to get the milk and sugar out. He brought everything to the island and took a seat across from her. While she was preparing her coffee, Spencer took the time to observe Clara. She was another hook-up of his, one that lasted a long weekend when his cravings were almost as bad as when he detoxed. She was in the process of stirring her coffee when she cleared her throat and Spencer’s eyes shot to her blue ones. She opened her mouth and closed it multiple times, trying to get the courage to speak.

“I uhm, I don’t know how to say this so I’m going to be blunt. I’m pregnant.”

Spencer’s thoughts grinded to a halt as he did the math. They met around two months ago at a lecture he attended about an archaeological findings of a dig of a mass grave in India. They spent that entire weekend together, but he was sure, so sure that they used protection.

“Am I- Am I the father?” he heard himself stammer out in a weak voice. Clara just twisted her hands and nodded.  
“There’s always a 38% chance during sex that a condom will break, even when someone is also on alternate methods of birth control as well there is never a 100% guarantee that it works. Even more so for us since we did go get drinks beforehand and studies show that inebriated people forget to use protection entirely more often than sober people. And when they do use protection there’s more of a chance for it to go wrong and not work properly -”  
Clara laid her hand over Spencer’s that was clutching the mug so hard his knuckles were white and said “Breathe. Take a breath please.”

Spencer nodded and closed his eyes to take several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He recited the path the blood takes when traveling through the heart to calm down before meeting her eyes again. Spencer looked at her helplessly and asked “What do you want to do? I-I’ll support whatever you want to do”.  
Clara took a sip of her coffee before replying “I don’t want an abortion, but I don’t want the baby. I got accepted to lead an archaeological dig in South Africa, the opportunity to lead a dig at this young of an age is one that I can’t pass up. On top of that I’m so young and this wasn’t planned, I’m just, I’m not ready to be parent or to-”  
It was Spencer's turn to lay his hand over hers and interject with “You don’t need to explain or justify it to me. It’s your body and your choice, Clara. I completely understand.”  
Clara breathed a sigh of relief and they shared a brief moment of silence while Spencer lightly squeezed her hand before withdrawing to push his hair out of his face. Spencer drummed his fingers along the outside of his mug as the silence wore on before starting up the conversation again. 

“So, adoption?” He asked while taking a sip of his coffee.  
She took a considering look at Spencer before replying, “There is another option, you are the baby’s father. If you don’t want to give them up for adoption you could have custody.”  
Spencer started coughing, having choked on his coffee and shot her a bewildered look. 

“Don’t give me that look, you’re an FBI agent with a stable job, you can provide for a kid. Listen, you told me you were four months sober that night and judging by the chip on your keyring I saw earlier, you still are sober. That’s not a problem either.” 

“That is very much a problem, Clara. You want the kid to have an addict as a parent?” Spencer asked.  
“They would have a sober parent who has had a previous addiction. There’s a big difference.” Clara shot back with.  
After a moment Clara spoke again. “All I am asking is that you think about it, Spencer. I will understand either decision you make and I won’t judge you for either of them.”  
She grabbed her purse and handed him a piece of paper while standing up. “Here’s my number, call or text me anytime if you need to talk, okay?”  
Spencer replied okay as she headed out the door, too stunned and deep in thought to help her out the door. 

Once left alone, Spencer just put his head on the counter and groaned out “Fuuucccckkkkkk me.”


End file.
